Wait Till I Have Time

Last night as I was about to go off from the office, I got a call from an old friend from college, she called to tell me the good news that she is getting married and would like to invite me to her wedding. She was one of the last ladies standing unmarried like myself among our college friends besides this other guy. Of course I was happy for her and asked about all the wedding preparation, as usual I feel very happy for the people who dare to take the plunge and happily sign the rest of their lives away to another person.

Of course when I got back home, I informed my dad who was also invited to the wedding. The shock of my life was that (although I managed to control hensem and didn't sound at all like I was shocked) he asked me "Daughter, other people are getting married, what about you?" in the most conversational tone, that brought me back to the time when I was six and my dad using the same tone asking me why I din want to go to school. Looks like my dad really wanted to know this time (usually it is my mom pestering me till no end about this matter). Of course I laughed and gave the usual reply that I was too busy and I will get married when I have the time. And that was the absolute end of this sensitive topic in the conversation.

Of course, getting married for me is the ultimate step. If I cannot imagine myself being married at all up till today means that I am not ready in one way or another, right? Not willing to make the sacrifice as some people would say or have yet to see the blessings of being a married person. Now of course, I would be missing out on things that are important to me like being pregnant and having kids. This feeling was recently brought on by meeting up with another friend who is pregnant and looking so happy and contented that when you see her, you will go "awww" like a sitcom audience during a touching moment.

The final verdict is that no matter how "awww" it can get on the motherhood front (of course I only like the thought of having a baby but realisticly, tearing my hair out is more likely when thinking of taking care of little children while working fulltime) it is still not possible for me to tip the scale to the marrying side at this moment in this relationship no matter how many external factors appear to be giving me pressure. Ask me why? You will get my standard reply "Wait till I have the time"